I get a lot of spam emails. I delete literally hundreds of them every day. A boring and thankless task until I decided to have some fun with them. What will spam in the future look like? Very similar to spam today, I think. After all, human nature isn’t going to change any time soon…

I am writing this to you with tears in my eyes. I came down here to Titan with my family for a short vacation. I was also invited to speak at a conference on alien Huda artefacts at the College of Cultural Studies in the underground city of Vilnia. Unfortunately, on the day of the conference, we were mugged by two rogue AIs in the park of the hotel where we were staying. All cash, credits and data chips were stolen, including some valuable items, like the partial exoskeleton I had meant to exhibit at the College.   

Luckily for us we still have our lives and our passports. It was a terrible experience, but the good thing is that the AIs didn’t hurt anyone. The Vilnian Police have failed to be effective in this matter. Besides, paper work would cost us days we can’t afford. Our shuttle back to Earth leaves in less than twelve hours from now but we are having problems settling the hotel bills. The hotel manager – a Cyborg III – won’t let us leave until we pay him. He is sitting in front of me right now, all four arms ready to squeeze my neck if I try to get up and run. My father is having pains in his chest and my mother is weeping into her handkerchief.

Please, I need your financial assistance so we can pay off the hotel bills and get back home. Can you help us out? I’ll refund the money as soon as we return to Earth. Get back to me immediately and I will let you know the easiest way to get the funds to us.

We are very depressed at the moment.

Yours sincerely,

Lillian Asgard (Ms)
Huda Heritage Specialist
PhD Researcher
University of Leuven, Belgium